This article builds on the post about the importance of saying sorry in business and covers how to do so effectively and authentically in business contexts. It includes the three main elements of an effective apology: acknowledgement, responsibility and remedy. Scientific sources for this method are provided.
Building on the article about the importance of being able to say sorry for things gone wrong, today we dive into how to do that. As a business coach I find that it’s all well and good to say it’s important, but how to do it well is a key factor in being to apologise authentically and effectively in business.
Why is it a good idea to apologise authentically and effectively in business?
Because we are all human, and we all make mistakes. No matter how good you are at what you do. Missteps are a normal and useful part of the human condition. Normal because we live in a busy and complex world and there is no way any one human can get everything right, all the time, in all contexts. Useful, because we can learn from missteps. Learn about each other, and learn about what is going on at the moment, the process, what might work better, etc…. Last but not least, it is a good idea to apologise authentically and effectively in business to build and strengthen those human connections in your teams and to others (colleagues, business partners, team members, employees….). Particularly in leadership being able to admit mistakes and work from there strongly reinforces your connection with your teams.
Now that we know why it is important, lets look at the how and the science behind saying sorry authentically and effectively. In my work as a business coach, building and caring for human connections makes up a large part of my work with teams, leaders and organisations.
As mentioned above effective apologies repairs trusting connections and strengthens professional relationships.
In order to leverage the healing effects mentioned, an apology must be delivered so that your counterpart can take it in. The wronged party needs to feel seen and heard, two basic human needs, and the topic-at-hand addressed. Particularly in high-stakes business environments a well-structured and delivered sorry makes all the difference between a damaged or strong business connection.
The key elements of an authentic and effective apology according to organisational psychology research are:
- acknowledgement: clearly describing the misstep and specific damage done.
- responsibility: demonstrating accountability and ownership of one’s own part, without deflecting or excusing.
- remedy: detail specific steps of fix and how to avoid repeat occurrences.
A study performed by Lewicki, Polin, and Lount (2016) titled An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies showed that apologies containing these key elements were more effective than others.
What should you avoid when apologising?
As mentioned above deflections and excuses are not your friend when wanting to give an effective apology. Also, vague generalities like ‘Mistakes were made.’ will not help your apology arriving. Be specific, like: ‘I should have kept you in the loop during the process and I take full responsibility for that. I will provide you with all the information to-date and keep you in copy from now on.’ or ‘I missed a project deadline last week and I take full responsibility for that. I have implemented a weekly reminder and a new tracking flag to prevent this happening in the future.’ You can work on an apology that is authentic to you and effective with a business coach.
More work on authentic and effective apologies by Ohbuchi et al. (1989) highlighted that genuine apologies restore collaboration and reduce the change of retaliatory behaviour by engendering empathy in the injured party.
In addition to remember acknowledgement, responsibility and remedy, timing is essential in authentically and effectively saying sorry.
Do not apologise in the heat of the moment. Take a moment to breathe and balance yourself.
Otherwise it is likely that you will inadvertently make the apology more about yourself than the wronged party, which will not serve either of you well, or your human connection. Ideally apologise 24 – 48 hours after the misstep occurred. A review of over 1000 corporate apologies published in the Harvard Business Review (2015) demonstrated that delayed or scripted apologies not only backfire, but also erode your human connection and your credibility. Authenticity beats perfection. Having the strength to be vulnerable and genuine rebuilds trust faster than polished performances.
If you have any more questions on how to say sorry in an authentic and effective way, get in touch. I can work on this with you as your business coach and trainer. I like forward to hearing from you!
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