This article looks at the importance of being able to apologise, or say sorry, for mistakes in modern authentic leadership. It quotes scientific work underlining that being able to say sorry as a leader signals vulnerability and psychological safety to employees, a key driver in high performance teams. Furthermore, by being able to apologise leaders model accountability, which further reinforces a psychologically safe team culture.
The inspiration for this article comes from a recent epic fail of mine. I should have kept a very good colleague in the loop in a process I was only in thanks to her recommendation. And I did not. There are many reasons why I didn’t and maybe I will bore you with them another time. My main message for today is that this fail highlighted for me again, how important it is to be able to authentically be able to say sorry. In modern leadership, collaboration, relationships, friendships, wherever.
What does a mistake or fail have to do with working relationships?
What I had done in my working relationship with my colleague was what one could call a trust breaker. I did not keep someone informed on a process where I should have. I am sure you can think of plenty of examples where this can happen in leadership, in teamwork, in projects, etc..
As most of us learned in childhood being able to apologise for a mistake or fail can help mend the damage done to the relationship, whatever its nature.
Why is the ability to say sorry key in good modern leadership?
Leadership relies on trusting relationships and apologising helps re-build trust. Lewicki, Polin, and Abad (2016) demonstrated that apologies which contain acknowledgment of responsibility and an offer of repair significantly restore trust between relationships. As discussed recently, modern leadership is not about traditional, patriarchal ideas of strength. It is about authenticity. Authentic leadership requires leaders to show emotional courage. Very few actions embody courage and strength more than a genuine apology.
Brené Brown’s (2018) studied vulnerability in leaders’ behaviour. Her findings reinforce that admitting fault signals psychological safety. Psychological safety is a condition Google’s Project Aristotle identified as the single strongest predictor of high-performing teams.
If we look at apologising on an organisational level, saying sorry in leadership positions has a positive influence on company culture.
When leaders say sorry, they model accountability rather than defensiveness, which cascades through team culture. Konovsky and Pugh (1994) linked perceived fairness in leaders’ behavior with organizational citizenship. Employees who witness accountability in leaders’ behaviour are more likely to go above and beyond in their work.
Far from weakness, a well-delivered apology is an instrument for building trust that aligns behavior with values, a corner stone of authentic leadership.
It gives leaders a clarity of purpose and behaviour and teams leadership behaviour they can understand. Being able to behave in line with one’s values is the foundation of authentic leadership, as defined by Avolio and Gardner (2005).
Are you wanting to look further at strengthening modern leadership in your organisation? Or developing your authentic leadership? Get in touch. As a business coach I work with leaders on authentic modern leadership all the time. I look forward to hearing from you.
In line with this: More about the different meanings of the word sorry in different cultures another time.
References
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts. Random House.
Rozovsky, J. (2015). The five keys to a successful Google team.
